Are You Settling for Second Best

I'm seeing a trend, my fellow Fashionistas. Scattered out and around the internet universe, circling like malevolent meteorites (meteoroids?) and seemingly incapable of coalescing to a coherent shout.

Many of us complain about not being able to find plus size apparel, fashionable or otherwise. Many rant, many rave, many pose the problem, many propose solutions - goodness knows there are dozens of sites that position plus size retailers within easy view (mine included).

We plus size people (also known as New Normals) are in the majority. As much as 60% or more of clothes-wearing humans fit into our demographic. Why, then, are we New Normals being treated like a minority?

I think the answer is: We act like it. We act like we are the exception, not the rule. We are, as a whole, too quick to accept the mundane instead of expecting the marvelous.

Why? We're not easily clad. We're not size 2. Sadly, too often, we act as if we are not entitled to the finest apparel money can buy. We do not expect the finest of fashion. We walk away, quiet in our disappointment. We settle.

It's time to stop settling for second-class anything.

It is time to let retailers know, politely of course, but in no uncertain terms, that we will patronize shops that have invested the time, energy, planning, design effort, priorities, and results - bringing plus size fashion into an equitable state of quality on par with non-plus size fashion.

The flip side of that message should be evident. We will not patronize shops that hide plus size sections, that provide sub-standard quality plus size apparel, that bury plus size garments only in maternity aisles, that model plus size garments on size 2 mannequins.

I could go on.. but it's your turn.

Using REAL PEOPLE to Sell Clothes

This makes me almost sad. Not the news itself - just the fact that we as a society have reached a point where this IS news.

A major national magazine, amidst subtle gasps and sideways glances, inking the revelation of using real people in ads. Newsweek's full article includes a telling sentence: "Much of this interest in real-looking models is driven by the Internet, which has democratized the once rarefied world of high fashion."

Heaven help us. Perhaps word is reaching Bryant Park that we're NOT all 5'11", 104 lbs and size 0? Next earth-shattering news will be that of a stick-thin model, in a selfless act of bravery and desire to join her New Normal replacements waiting in the wings, consuming an entire banana nut muffin. Something tells me that we 'real people' still have a lot of work to do and that a lot of wake-up calls still need to be placed.

I don't think this was a slow news day - we haven't had many of those in quite a while, what with interminable wars, collapsing economies, diminishing ecological resources, global warming and Britney Spears.

Go read the rest of the article if you haven't already. Then, when you get back, please tell me how in the world we got to the point where the concept of using real people in advertising became a revolutionary trend and a newsworthy event?

Major Props to REAL Plus Size Merchants

What defines a REAL Plus Size Merchant: Their plus size fashions are designed for the plus size form, displayed on plus size models and/or mannequins. Add them here as you find them - and I'll start the ball rolling with two.



Realityplus Clothing, for designing specifically to the plus size form, displaying on realistically sized mannequin, and providing an elegant, flexible line of ensemble fashions.



Igigi, for displaying on realistically sized models, for providing myShape, aimed at shopping by shape, with coherent explanations.

What have YOU found?

Plus Size Shopping Madness Discussed

Trudie Cain is talking clothes with size 18-plus women as part of her research into the lifestyles of people with obesity. The Massey University Albany PhD student in sociology says that apart from a handful of chain stores, there is little choice of affordable fashion available for larger women. This article from Auckland NZ echoes what many of us may be feeling when we go out to shop. Please read more and post your responses.

Lane Bryant Name Changes to Woman Within

Straight from their release:

"Woman Within®, with over 100 years of experience, offers comfort, fit, selection and value in women's plus-size clothing from 12W-44W. We offer casual, career, special occasion, maternity apparel, sleepwear and intimates, casual & career shoes in wide widths to size 14 and plus-calf boots. Special deals and web only pricing offers for web customers. New items added to clearance weekly for savings up to 75%!"

While Woman Within has a new name, their commitment to comfort, style and value continues to be the hallmark of the brand. With extensive experience designing fashions in sizes 12W to 44W, Woman Within remains as the leader in women's plus-size apparel."

Coincident with this announcement, here are several very nice offers from Woman Within:

Woman Within - 20% off all purchases of $100 or more with code WW15027, 10/1-10/31

Woman Within - $20 off orders of $80 or more with code WW15035, 10/1-10/31

Woman Within - Free Shipping on all orders of $75 or more with code WW15050, 10/1-10/31

Woman Within - Buy 3 items, get 4th free, least expensive item is free, code WW15068, 10/1-10/31

Their new banners look like this:



and this:




PSL proudly represents Woman Within here, on the blog, and in our store. This fine outlet for womens plus size apparel is featured on our store's main page as Today's Featured Favorite for October 11, 2007. (To visit prior Featured Favorites, navigate to the PSL forum calendar.)

Recognizing our Stress Reactions and Responses

Three days of holiday weekend - technically four as my husband had Friday off - and I've decided to do not much more than thoroughly enjoy having him around for four days straight. Stress seems to come to a standstill when he's at home.

So let's talk about stress for a moment before I go back to relaxing and doing not much of anything.

Stress is a fact for everyone. In terms of physics, stress is a measure of force per unit area within a body. Thanks, Wikipedia! Even though I managed to get all the way through high school without taking a physics course, I recognize that gravity is stress. Moving against gravity demonstrates physical stress. That is normal and unavoidable, and will continue at a relatively constant rate unless we all move to the moon where gravity is lower!

The types of stress that become a concern are medical, mental, emotional, spiritual - probably not the stress source itself so much as how we manage them.

Some people manage stress easily or with no apparent outward difficulty. Others react to stress but then recover. Still others react strongly to every bit of stress to hit their doorstep.

Stressors can come from one huge event - a house fire, an auto accident, death of a loved one - or from the tiniest situation - spilling wine on a rug, finding a jar lid that just won't open, a broken fingernail, a missed hair appointment, an added pound on the bathroom scale.

A stressor that can totally derail one person may be trivial to another. One person may handle huge stressors gracefully and yet be completely blown apart by a much smaller event.

One of us may be able to handle the stress of chronic pain but still be totally derailed by the pounding of a drum set next door. Maybe we can deal with the broken pickle jar gracefully but are brought to tears by discovering a small tear in our favorite sweater.

There's a difference between how we react to stress and how we respond to stress.

One person may react to stress calmly, absorbing the difficulty and taking things in stride. Another may react to stress by fracturing emotionally. Yet another may react physically with skin disorders, headaches, migraines.

Each of us responds to stress in different ways as well. Some people get mad, shout, hit walls, scream at the top of their lungs, punch pillows, cry, go for a run, overeat, forget to eat.

Others may respond by growing uncharacteristically quiet, withdrawing from friends, avoiding social contact, appearing depressed (not to be confused with clinical depression, which should be addressed no matter what stressors are present).

What stresses you out? How do you react? How do you respond? Feel free to share anonymously.

What's In YOUR Closet?

I love Tim Gunn. Wait. That came out wrong. I am a huge (pardon the pun) Tim Gunn fan and have fallen in love with his new show Tim Gunn's Guide to Style for several reasons - the biggest one of which is that he had the foresight to feature a right-size woman as one of his first makeover 'victims.'

JeAnne had recently lost a significant amount of weight, and the Before and After pictures were a clear tribute to her persistence and strength of spirit in her weight-loss endeavor. The show where she is featured is described as "Tim and Veronica give the fashion skinny to a style-impaired woman who recently lost a lot of weight. Included: fitting tips."

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Removing my Stress from my Closet

As my weight climbed and my inability to exercise properly took its toll on my old skinny self, I found myself hoarding garments of my past, reciting the reassuring phrase to myself: I'll fit back into these in a few months.

The few months became a few years, then over a decade, and believe me - I was no closer to getting back into those size 5 neon blue lycra stretch pencil-thin pants than they were getting any closer to being back in style. They kept getting pushed further toward the back in the closet, supplanted by slacks I could actually get my legs into.

Keeping those old skinny-years memorabilia in the closet was doing nothing more than causing stress which caused more eating which caused more weight which caused more stress. Oh, and eating up closet space.

The solution came in the form of catastrophe. Over the Christmas holidays, a fire swept through a neighbor's house, leaving the family of five homeless, with nothing but the clothes on their backs. Everyone living nearby scrambled at once, gathering donations, coats, furniture, pots and pans, kitchen appliances, children's toys, and of course clothes.

No, the neon pants didn't go into the pile headed for the burned-out neighbors... I sent practical and usable items. But the search for the usable items brought some sanity to the closet, and the pants did go into the charity bin, where they should have gone back in the decade when disco first took a nose-dive. They were accompanied by every single bit of clothing under size 16 (except for a silly collection of commemorative tank top tees from chili cookoffs of long ago. They don't take up much space at all, now that I've discovered Space Bags).

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The Second Reason I Love Tim Gunn

Several minutes into the show's purposeful agony of cleansing a closet (four stacks - Keep, Mend, Donate, Ditch - not his exact labels, but you get the drift), Tim and Veronica present their fashion victim with a list of Ten Basic Wardrobe Essentials and begin to steer the Keep choices in the direction of that list's contents. Watch an episode (tape it!) and copy down that list if you possibly can. It's gold. Since my own closet is notorious for its tendency to suffer from acute time warp, I've been trying to copy it so I can post it on the inside of my closet door.

Here's what I have on the list so far - anyone have the rest?

* classic white shirt
* classic dress pants
* cashmere sweater
* basic black dress
* trench coat
* properly fit jeans
* proper length skirt
* a blazer that works with your shape
* a day dress
* sweat suit alternative
* a 'fancy night out' dress

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What's in YOUR Closet?

If you're anything like me (or like I was before the neighbors' fire), your closet may be storing a collection of memories instead of a collection of wearable items. I'm not proposing that you run right out and donate everything you own to the charity bin, or ditch it all and buy everything new.

But, if you do decide to tackle an out-of-fashion/fit/function exorcism on your closet space, it's important to give yourself permission to ditch things. Try this:

Start at the far darkest oldest end of your closet - you know, that place where blouses and skirts migrate if they haven't been worn for awhile and may never get worn again.

Take out ONE item and make ONE decision. Put it into one of four stacks:
* Keep
* Mend
* Donate
* Ditch

... you can always change your mind later.

Repeat until you've gone through your entire closet or you've lost the will to carry on.

Take a break and recharge your batteries - have some tea or a shot of decaf of your choice. (I don't recommend regular coffee at a time like this - you've got enough stress without having to handle caffeine jitters on top of it!)

THEN sort the Keep stack into a Fits Now pile and a Used to Fit pile. Put the Used to Fit pile into the Donate stack.

Repeat with the Mend stack. Trim your closet's contents down to items that you will actually wear.

Bundle up the Donate stack and go put it in the front seat of your car, drive to the charity of your choice that has a donations bin, and heave it in. Now, before it creeps back onto hangers and into the closet of its own volition.

Bundle up the Ditch stack and take it with you, and dump it into a convenient dumpster as far away from your house as possible. Put some distance between you and that bag, so it doesn't find its way home.

Seems a bit daunting? Just remember it doesn't have to be done all at once, or done at all! But if your closet is belaboring you with stress, fight back!

Sounds too simple to work? It isn't simple - it may be a very difficult and emotional encounter. Power through it, though, if you're going to do it. Call on a friend. Make an afternoon of it. Try stuff on and make your decisions. Tomorrow you can go tackle her closet.

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But Most Important of All

Remember our mantra that you, my right-size friend, should repeat every day:

We're curvaceous, audacious, bold, beautiful, voluptuous, sensously shapely, and we dress to show off our beautiful selves! We live in our perfectly shaped world, comfortably fashion forward and proud of it. We celebrate ourselves and our world.

Measuring for Plus Size Shopping

I am asking stores for permission to post their sizing charts here. In the meantime, while I wait for their responses, here's some general guidelines for measuring, to get you started.

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How to Measure Your Body

Bust
Wrap around the fullest part of your bust. Let your arms rest at your sides in a relaxed position.

Waist
First tie a string around your waist. Bend side to side. This is your natural waistline. Wrap the tape measure around your waist. Make sure not to pull too tight.

Low Hip
With your feet together, wrap the tape measure around your hips at your fullest point.

Inseams
Measure from ankle bone to crotch along inside of leg. Petite = 28" Inseam (women under 5'4") Average = 30" Inseam (women 5'4" - 5'7") Tall = 33" (women 5'7" and taller)

Swimsuits
Use your largest size measurements to order. For example, if you have size 1X bust and size 2X hips, order a size 2X. If there is a difference of two sizes (3X bust and 1X hips) we recommend that you order from our separates collection. You can pick the size that is closest for your top and bottom.

Chloroban Swimsuits have a unique fit. They don't contain spandex, so they last much longer in the chlorine pool. These unique 100% polyester swimsuits don't stretch as much as nylon / spandex suits do. Make sure to follow the size chart provided. If your body measurements are in between sizes, you may be more comfortable in the larger size.

How to Fit a Bra
While wearing a bra, measure above the bust keeping the tape under your arms and around your shoulder blades. This is your band size. For bust size, measure the fullest part of your bust. Subtract the band measurement from the bust measurement. A difference of 3" is a C cup, 4" is a D cup, 5" is a DD/E cup, 6" is a F cup, 7" is a G cup.

(Measurement methods courtesy of Junonia.com)

Overcoming Plus Size Online Shopping Perils and Pitfalls

(Much of this advice can be applied to online shopping in general, but I'm going to focus on our goal of finding and listing the best plus size shopping locations.)

In a perfect life, shopping online would be as simple as opening a browser window that goes directly to the item you want, clicking on the [[I WANT THIS]] button, entering some payment data, and pushing Go.

Unfortunately, a perfect life doesn't exist (yet), so we have to do a great deal more work that those four steps. Where do we start?

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Time, Time and More Time

One of the biggest complaints I've heard about online shopping is that it takes too much time. Many of us start with a search engine like Google, search for what we want, scan down a few entries, click on what looks interesting, surf the site and not find what we want, go back and find another site, surf that site and not find what we want, find a third site, go back to Google, refine our search, and repeat until we either find what we're looking for or give up and drive to a store, or give up and settle for something close, or give up entirely and decide we don't really need the item THAT bad.

It often boils down to a matter of time. Do you have the time to search, surf, plow through dozens of websites that may or may not have what you want? If you're like most of us, the answer to that is a resounding 'NO.'

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Build a Solid List of Shopping Sites

You may have a set of favorite plus size shopping sites, and that's great! We'd love to hear from you and know which ones you prefer, so we can add them to our directory of shops. Do you have time to visit them once a day or once a week to watch for sales, special offers, free shipping deals, seasonal clearances? If not, don't worry - we do, and will.

We're building a list of recommended stores, based on our own experience and feedback from our readers, and will keep that list updated on this site. You can help! Let us know where you have shopped with success, so we can add to this list!

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Spread the Word

Many of the places we shop are well known, like Old Navy and their new Women's Plus Online Exclusives, and Junonia.

But have you heard about BiggerBras.com, which offers fuller bras and lingerie with styles by Playtex, Vanity Fair, Tatiana and more? Did you know that Kiyonna.com offers a full line of Spanx Body Shapers in the plus sizes we need?

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Know the Right Size is the Right Size

Almost every shop is different, just like brick-and-mortar stores (our term for those places down the road where you walk in and shop off of racks). Before you shop online, arm yourself with a good tape measure and pad of paper, and take reliable measurements - bust, waist, hips, inseam - we'll give you some charts to use. Never assume that a 2X jacket available on one site is going to fit just like a size 2X jacket from another site. Check each shop's size charts, just to make sure.

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Know the Return Policy in Advance

Some online stores have very forgiving return policies, but a few of them are tougher than Fort Knox. Some stores will let you return items after they've been removed from packaging, tried on and worn, and some restrict the type of item that can be returned at all. Usually, for health code reasons, swimsuits and lingerie carry the strictest policies. Be sure to read the policies before placing an order the first time with a new store.

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Know the Security and Privacy in Advance

You have rights as a consumer. Any store site that wants to take your credit card information or sell things to you online needs to have a clearly written Privacy Statement. This statement should provide you with their policies about email, credit card security, data security, personal information privacy and contact information.

These Privacy Statements may be labeled with different names, like Security, Our Commitment to Your Privacy, Security and Privacy, Service and Security, etc. Terms and Conditions of Use may also contain privacy statements, but many firms separate the two to keep them easier to find and read. But no matter what they're called, they are that firm's commitment to protecting your privacy and rights. Read them carefully. If you disagree with their approach, don't shop with them.

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Protect Your Good Credit

Look for Verisign icons, Better Business Bureau, Security Metrics. You may see TrustE and HackerSafe icons as well, services used to give assurance of a site's reliability and integrity.

Shopping cart pages may or may not be provided through secure webpages, depending on the approach the store has taken. However, any place that asks for financial information like a credit card number must be secure pages. Make sure the website page's address starts with https:// (normal pages are http://) before you enter any credit card information.

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Let Us Know - Good or Bad

If you find a wonderful place to shop, let us know. Leave a comment, so we can add the store to our list of recommended stores.

If you find a place that doesn't treat you right, let us know that as well. I want to make sure that our list of recommended stores is going to be the best possible shopping experience for all of us!

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Bottom Line

Shopping for plus size clothing online doesn't have to be a painful experience. My goal is to help take out the painful parts, find and provide the best places to shop, gather up handy information and serve it up here in an easy-to-retrieve manner, and cheer you on as you shop and find the fantastic right-sized apparel that helps your own special personality shine through.